The most transformational tool we have at our disposal to make real and lasting change is self awareness. Becoming more aware of ourselves, our thinking, beliefs and behaviours brings helps us understand what may not be serving us in our life experience. If you look at your life and the areas that you are not happy with, very often we see the problem as external. It's other people, it's that organization etc. And for sure we life in an imperfect world. The only thing we can control is ourselves, our own thinking and reactions to what we are experiencing. This is where our power lies. When we heal and change ourselves, we will change the world.
If you look at the situations in your life that aren't working the way you would like, perhaps ask yourself the following questions:
1) What are my consistent thoughts about this situation? Our thoughts shape our reality and if we continue to think the same thoughts, we will end up with the same reality?
2) What are the situations and scenarios that I am triggered by? What is the feeling and thought loop behind the trigger? Be the explorer and curious to what comes up for you in different scenarios. If you are triggered and feel hurt, pain or anger where is at the root of those, maybe it's time for a belief change?
3) What are you noticing that needs to be healed? I think there is a pandemic in this country of people walking around with repressed emotions of anger, shame, rage and that it manifests in behaviour that hurts the individual in their relationship with self, others and damages their emotional and mental health. Did you hear "don't be a baby", "you have no right to feel....XYZ" "boys don't cry" or as a child or worse shamed for your emotions "you're such a cry baby" etc, you may have old emotions that you need to finally face up to and feel before they manifest in pain and illness.
3) Be curious and gentle with yourself, take an elevated view and see yourself and the behaviours as a witness. The witness is the self who takes a step back and takes the role of the observer of what you are experiencing, seeing, feeling and behaving. It is your higher self, as opposed to the ego. It helps you break from the old narratives, heal old wounds and move to a higher state of consciousness.
This process is life long, we never get "fixed", but we do move towards greater acceptance, love, joy and peace. The choice is ours. It's often easier to notice in others how some love being the victim. They love being unhappy. It's their story and maybe their not aware of it but they have become addicted to it. What little stories do you have that you are believing, maybe it's time to bring them to light and and let them go?